The Taboo Truth: The Hidden Epidemic of Women Bullying Women

The Unspoken Side of Toxic Culture: When Women Bully Women

We celebrate female empowerment on stages, on Instagram, and in corporate hashtags…

But beneath the glossy messaging lives a silent crisis:

Women sabotaging, belittling, and bullying other women, often older women targeting younger ones.

This isn’t “women being women” (cringe).

It’s intergenerational trauma bonding disguised as sisterhood, transactional, manipulative, and spiritually draining. I’ve lived it since childhood.

When Wisdom Becomes a Weapon

There is something deeply unsettling about women old enough to know better, yet choosing to weaponise their:

Age

Experience

Status

Position

Not to mentor.

Not to uplift.

But to compete, bully, and sabotage.

Let’s call it out:

This is predatory behaviour, rooted in jealousy, ego, and unhealed wounds.

These women often operate from subconscious entitlement:

“I suffered to get here, so you should too.”

“If I didn’t thrive, you shouldn’t either.” This is not empowerinherited trauma , passed down, normalised, and dressed up as guidance.

The Transactional Trap

Have you ever been pulled into a “friendship” that felt more like a contract?

Do this for me, and I’ll validate you.

Stay in your place, and I’ll let you shine… a little.

These dynamics are:

Strategic

Manipulative

Soul-sucking

If you carry:

✓ Light

✓ Creativity

✓ Confidence

✓ Clarity

✓ Youth

You become the target, not the sister.

Jealousy in Heels: The Silence Around Toxic Femininity

We talk about toxic masculinity, loudly.

But toxic femininity? That stays whispered behind closed doors.

It shows up as:

Fake smiles

Passive-aggressive shade

Coded exclusion

Gatekeeping

Silent sabotage

From hair salons to corporate boardrooms,

women are being:

Excluded

Undermined

Silenced

Not by men…

but by other women.

Communities Cracked by Competition

What’s the cost?

Trust collapses. Sisterhood fractures.Young women stop seeking mentorship.

Older women lose influence, and the trauma cycle continues, unchallenged. We cannot build intergenerational legacies while silently side-eyeing each other.

My Lived Truth.

I’ve felt this my whole life. Grown women gossiping about me as a child Workplace “queens” blocking opportunities. Older women seeing me not as a torchbearer, but a threat. Even now, I still encounter it. Too often, rarely accidental, often intentional, fuelled by insecurity and fear. Yet it’s these same women who preach “sisterhood.”

Time to Speak Up: Name It. End It. Heal It.

We need to confront female-on-female bullying, openly and honestly. This is: Generational dysfunction. Wrapped in empowerment slogans. Masked as loyalty. Protected by silence. We must unlearn toxic scripts and write new ones: Scripts rooted in connection, respect, and wholeness, not hierarchy more idolising mean girls in power suits, no more normalising shade as style, no more trauma bonding as solidarity.

If This Is You -

You’re Not Alone.

If you’ve experienced this dynamic: You are not too sensitive, you are not imagining it, you are simply naming an unspoken truth and naming it is the first step to healing it. A New Kind of Sisterhood

It’s time to build sisterhood that is:

Real

Raw

Rooted in respect

A sisterhood that embraces:

✓ Truth

✓ Healing

✓ Accountability

✓ Collaboration

✓ Love

Because truth is the first step to freedom, and I’m walking in mine. Heels on. Head high.

Written by Shardia O’Connor

Founder of Shades of Reality